Now this is FUNNY..a bit “risque”

Sometimes you just need a good laugh!  Absolutely nothing to do with the Paleo diet or anything related to health however, this is hilarious albeit somewhat “risque” in nature.  Amazing how far television commercials have come…or gone. 

 

 

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7 Things No One Tells You About Going Paleo

paleo_1Wanted to share this humorous article forwarded to me by a dear friend!  Thanks Irma!

By Telisha Bryan, May 2015

Women’s Health reprint

 

I’d had a severe case of the blahs for a few months. My insomnia was getting worse, every month I got a pimple in the same spot smack-dab in the middle of my left cheek, and those last five pounds I wanted to lose had slowly turned into those last 10 pounds I wanted to lose. Overall, I felt gross, and I needed to do something drastic to break out of my slump. But what?

In search of inspiration, I turned to the source of all my recent life decisions: Pinterest. I scrolled past the myriad “ways to be a thrifty country bride” pins and found a link to a 30-day Paleo challenge.

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I’d heard that Paleo meant eating like a T-Rex or something, but that was the extent of my knowledge. The blog included recipes and exercise videos, though, and seemed fairly easy to follow. I knew that I would slack if I tried to do the challenge on my own—because TV and snacks—so I asked my friend/boss Anne if she would like to try it with me (how could I possibly cheat on my diet if I had to check in every day with the person responsible for my paychecks?). She did, but she suggested that we turn things up a notch by going Paleo for Lent, the solemn 40-day period before Easter when many Christians make sacrifices, often food-based ones in the form of fasting—you know, when your normally burger-loving Catholic friends eat fast-food fish sandwiches on Fridays because they gave up red meat.

Though there are many approaches to going Paleo (often called the caveman diet) and not all experts agree on the same guidelines, typically it means cutting out some carbohydrates and all refined sugars, grains, legumes, and dairy, as well as meats containing added hormones and antibiotics and processed foods containing preservatives. Instead, you chow down on the nutrient-dense foods our primitive ancestors would have hunted and gathered back in the day. While it may sound fairly straightforward, there are a few things I wish I had known before I started the journey.

1. Lots of Meals and Snacks You Used to Think of as Healthy Are Off-Limits
I used to regularly eat peanut butter and jelly on whole-wheat bread as a quick, nutritious breakfast. After I started Paleo, though, every part of that sandwich was verboten—yes, even the peanut butter since peanuts are technically legumes. Soy (also a legume!) was out, too, so I had to forget about stopping for a coffee in the morning and patting myself on the back for requesting soymilk instead of regular (not to mention that coffee minus sugar equals a thumbs-down emoji for me). And I definitely couldn’t have edamame appetizers at my favorite sushi place—as a matter of fact, I had to skip sushi altogether because eating only sashimi with no soy sauce seemed kind of sad (rice is banned). No more corn (a starchy grain) meant no more tortilla chips—which, okay, I shouldn’t have been surprised about, but it’s my favorite food, and I had told myself certain lies about their healthiness. I decided that if I had to go through life without chips, I’d at least need a drink, so I kept wine on my menu (in moderation, of course).

2. You Might Feel Sick at the Beginning
By my third day of eating Paleo, I had a headache that would not go away. I felt super nauseated, and I didn’t want to eat or drink anything.

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“Whenever you drastically change your diet, your body’s going to react,” says Alexandra Caspero, R.D., a dietitian in Sacramento. “Your body has to get used to a new way of eating.” Anne, who had previously completed the Whole30 program, told me that because I’d abruptly slashed my intake of carbohydrates, I probably had “the low-carb flu.” Kristin Kirkpatrick, R.D., manager of wellness nutrition services at the Cleveland Clinic Wellness Institute, says a lack of the good-for-you glucose that carbs provide can cause nausea and headaches. “It’s a little bit of a shock to the system because you’re taking away the fuel that you’re used to,” she says. Caspero adds that people can feel similar withdrawal-type symptoms after cutting back on caffeine or refined sugar in general. I had to snap out of my no-carb-zone mentality to get my swagger back. Then, in walked the sweet potato…

3. Sweet Potatoes Will Become Your BFFL
Like many people, I had been led to believe that all carbs were evil. So when I decided to cut them from my diet, I showed no mercy. Fact is, humans actually need carbs for energy. “All carbohydrates are converted into sugar in the body,” says Kirkpatrick. “You need that fuel, but you want to get it from the right sources.” The difference between the carbs you should be filling up on and the ones you should minimize your intake of is that the former contain fiber, which aides in their digestion, keeps your insulin from spiking, and helps you feel full. An unpeeled apple, for example, is a carb filled with soluble fiber, says Kirkpatrick, while a treat like ice cream is a carb, yes, but one that’s lacking in the fiber department. “The less carbohydrates have been processed, the better,” says Caspero, adding that fruits and vegetables are healthful carbs, while we should nix “concentrated sources of sweetness,” like soda, cookies, and cake. In my opinion, the yummiest “good carb” by far is the sweet potato—even Oprah loves them.

So to get over my “flu,” I tried out a bunch of delicious sweet potato recipes and gradually realized I’d been wasting my time dating rice and pasta when I could have settled down with sweet potatoes years ago. If this root vegetable just isn’t your jam, maybe you can get all turnt over butternut squash or something. But finding a go-to carb filled with fiber will make Paleo a lot easier on you (and your poor stomach!).

4. You Might Have to Stop Tracking Calories
I’ve been tracking my calories on My Fitness Pal on and off for about two years. When I started to do Paleo, I logged back on as an additional way to keep an eye on my nutrition. Once I really got the hang of the diet, my meals became more filling and more satisfying. A lunch of half an avocado cut up and wrapped in slices of nitrate-free roasted turkey breast kept me full hours longer than my typical leftover-pasta lunches ever did. As a result, I didn’t need to eat as much or as often to get through the day. There were a few times when My Fitness Pal warned me that I wasn’t consuming enough calories.

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The thing is, I felt great, not hungry. Kirkpatrick speculates that this lack of hunger was probably a symptom of ketosis, when the body burns fat for energy instead of carbs. And Caspero explains, “The benefit of eating less-processed, nutrient-dense foods is that the calories in them aren’t going to be that high.” (Side note: MFP also regularly warned me that I was eating way too much fat, but Paleo’s increased protein consumption often comes with a side of fat. Besides, “fat is not the enemy,” says Caspero.) It made me rethink our national obsession with counting calories over what exactly we’re putting in our mouths. “It’s more important to get quality calories than to focus on one specific number,” says Kirkpatrick.

5. It’s Super Time-Consuming
Most people go into Paleo well aware that their grocery bills will jump at least a little bit since organic fruits and vegetables and grass-fed, antibiotic-free meats typically cost more. But I wish I had known that Paleo would take up so much of my time. This lifestyle is not for those addicted to grab-and-go foods. Since takeout is usually not an option for people strictly sticking to the plan (even if you find a restaurant that claims to use only organic ingredients, you can’t be sure they cook everything in Paleo-friendly oils, like olive oil), there’s a lot of meal prep involved, especially for dinner. Not gonna lie: I wasn’t always excited to start roasting a chicken after a long day of work.

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On my darkest days, I wondered if the staff at my favorite Chinese carryout place were worried by my disappearance. (If you’re reading this, Jade Garden guys, I’m okay—promise.) Along those lines…

6. You’ll Start Eating Before You Meet Friends for Dinner
March Madness was in full swing right in the thick of my Paleo journey, and my team was (briefly) in the mix. Group game watches at a local bar required me to pretend to be unfazed as pulled pork sandwiches, fried pickles, and beer after delicious-smelling beer crossed the table.

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But I didn’t just struggle at game watches. As I mentioned above, it’s hard to vet a Paleo-friendly restaurant. So not wanting to be That Girl, I always went along with whatever place my dinner companions wanted, then tried to pick something from the general menu. More than once, I forgot before ordering that most restaurants drown their house salad in cheese, even if cheese isn’t mentioned on the menu. More than once, I endured a bland burger suffering from a serious lack of oomph without ketchup and a bun. One (not the brightest) waitress even told me she could not “accommodate” my request for a lettuce “bun”…despite the fact that I had also ordered a side salad, so they clearly had lettuce in the kitchen. To avoid disappointment, I’d often eat before meeting friends and then act like I was fine nursing just a glass of white wine as they stuffed their stupid, annoying faces. (If any of my friends out there are reading this, I’m of course just kidding. Kind of).

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7. You Won’t Be Able to Shut Up About It
I’d love to tell you that the entire time I was on my cavewoman journey, I was bright-eyed and enthusiastic. I’d love to tell you that, more in tune with nature, I did yoga on some sun-soaked rooftop every morning and handed strangers daisies on the street. But there were times when I was downright crankypants. I vividly remember texting Anne that I was so beyond over it when the Paleo chocolate cake I whipped up from a recipe I found on Pinterest turned out to be an insult to both chocolate and cake. At first, I would vent to anyone who would listen about how difficult my new eating plan was. But as I started feeling better physically, I couldn’t stop singing Paleo’s praises. Even with the annoying parts, Paleo is still the best decision I’ve made in a long time. I’d fall asleep within five minutes of my head hitting the pillow, that pesky pimple stayed gone, and I dropped six pounds. I no longer felt sluggish the way I did when most of my meals included processed carbs, dairy, or packaged foods. And I wanted my friends to know, too—whether they asked or not. Most said they were worried Paleo was too restrictive and boring to try themselves. “I could never live without cheese” is something I heard over and over. It was nice to help dispel some of the myths. For example, I love cheese, too, but it wasn’t making me feel good at all, so I broke up with it—and it really wasn’t even that hard.

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Now that Lent is over, I’ve decided to eat Paleo at least 75 percent of the time. It would be awesome to still be hardcore about it, but it’s too difficult to maintain in social situations, and I am (#humblebrag) quite the social butterfly. Plus, I have to believe that our ancestors would have washed down their brontosaurus steaks with beer if they could have, so I’m totally honoring their memory by hoisting a few on their behalf now.

 

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A Joyous and Merry Christmas!

animated-treechristmastreeanimated2014

From the entire staff at My Healthy Paleo please accept our sincerest hope that you enjoy a peaceful and joyous Christmas with friends and loved ones.  Life is too short not to experience laughter and love.

 

Thanks for making us the fastest growing Paleo health site on the internet!  We couldn’t have done it without you! 

 

 

This weeks totally irrelevant poll…New Year’s Resolutions

The Polling Place

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Please, Express Yourself….

Welcome to the most prestigious and influential (yeah, right) Paleo Polling Place on the internet!  Each week we will present a deep and thought provoking (oh, Madonna Mia) question that you can respond to in a completely anonymous manner.  It doesn’t cost anything so please feel free to cast your vote.

And this weeks totally irrelevant question is…

 

 

Orange you quite the Paleo cookie baker?

As they say “there’s no place like home for the holidays”.  Now you can fill your CHocolate-crescent-cookies-698x1024home with the warmth and joy of the Christmas spirit with one our favorite Paleo cookie recipes. This classic cookie recipes will instantly evoke warm Christmas memories. These decadent cookies will have chocolate lovers rejoicing and dreaming of Christmas past and Christmas future(s).  

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Orange/Vanilla Crescent cookies
Yields 16
Oh yes....these cookies combine warm vanilla, sweet orange and then are drizzled with rich chocolate!
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Ingredients
  1. 1 cup Cashew Flour
  2. 1/3 cup Coconut Flour, + 1 Tbsp.
  3. 2 Tbsp Tapioca Starch
  4. 1/2 tsp Salt
  5. 1/4 tsp Baking Soda
  6. 3 Tbsp Raw Honey
  7. 2 Tbsp Organic Palm Oil Shortening, coconut oil or grass-fed butter
  8. 1Tsp Pure Vanilla Extract, + 1/4
  9. 1 whole Egg
  10. 1 tsp Orange Zest, (about 1/2 an orange)
  11. 1/16 tsp Orange Essential Oil, (about 2 drops)
  12. 1/2 tsp Organic Coconut Oil
  13. 1/2 cup Dark Chocolate Chips
For the cookies
  1. Preheat oven to 350. Line a baking tray with parchment
  2. In food processor, add all the dry ingredients and blend until finely combined.
  3. In a stand mixer or food processor, combine the egg, palm shortening, and honey. Mix on high speed, until combined. Add in vanilla extract.
  4. Add in half of the dry ingredients and orange zest, mix until combined. Scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl. Mix in the rest of dry ingredients, until thoroughly combined. Add in orange essential oil, and mix on medium speed. Scrape down sides.
  5. Form dough into a big ball. Take a small amount of dough, and roll into a small log. Place small log on lined baking tray, and form it into a "smile" shape. Repeat until all your dough is used up.
  6. Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until slightly golden on the bottom. Let cool on pan for 5 minutes, before transferring to a wire rack.
For the chocolate drizzle
  1. Melt the chocolate on the stove top or microwave until thoroughly melted, stir in coconut oil.
  2. Place cookies back on a lined baking sheet, and one by one drizzle with chocolate. Place in freezer for 5 minutes to speed up the setting of chocolate. Enjoy!
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Peppermint Twist Smoothie (Chocolate and Peppermint)

Is there any other taste that makes you think of Christmas more than peppermint? chocolate-peppermint-smoothie Now just imagine spreading a bit of holiday cheer with peppermint, chocolate and chia mixed together in a delicious smoothie.    This smoothie recipe is far from boring and  tastes just like Thin Mints (one of my favorite treats), but it’s actually really healthy.

 

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Chocolate Peppermint Smoothie
Serves 2
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Ingredients
  1. 2 Bananas (frozen)
  2. 2 tbsp Unsweetened cocoa powder
  3. 1 tbsp Chia seeds
  4. 1/2 tsp Peppermint extract
  5. 1 cup Almond milk
Instructions
  1. Put all of the ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth and creamy. Serve immediately.
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News Flash….Breaking News…Hold the Presses

In our continued commitment to bring you the most diverse recipes along with the palmagfinest quality Paleo products and information available, I am very pleased to announce that we have been approved and are now authorized to promote the undisputed champion of Paleo print media , the Paleo Magazine and assorted Paleo products.  What exactly is  the Paleo Mag?  Simply….. the first, and only, print magazine dedicated to the Paleo lifestyle that is focused on providing readers with the information they need to live healthy and active lives.  Each bi-monthly issue is packed with the latest research, exercise, nutrition, interviews, inspirational stories, recipes, reviews, info to raise Paleo awareness and knowledge. 

Give the gift of health and knowledge this holiday season!

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Now that’s a wrap….a Steak Wrap!

Amaze your friends and family with this Paleo grain-free and colorful steak dinner steakwrapjpgthat won’t render you broke or take hours to make?  Quick, colorful, and all wrapped up for your convenience, these juicy steak rolls are packed with vegetables and finished off with a tangy-sweet balsamic glaze. Adding basil and oregano without a pile of tomatoes gives them a very fresh Italian flavor. Pile a few of them on your plate for dinner, or pull out a big platter for a party food or an appetizer. They’re a great size for kids, and having a bunch of smaller rolls makes it easy to accommodate everyone’s appetite.

***Click here to take away the stress from finding the perfect holiday gift ideas***

 

Steak Wrap
Serves 4
A quick and tasty balsamic Paleo steak wrap!
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Ingredients
  1. 1 pound grass-fed skirt steak
  2. 1/2 a medium onion
  3. 1 carrot
  4. 1 portobello mushroom cap
  5. 1 bell pepper
  6. 1 zucchini
  7. 1 teaspoon garlic
  8. 3 tablespoons coconut aminos
  9. 3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
  10. 2 tablespoons olive oil
  11. Black pepper to taste
  12. 4 toothpicks
Instructions
  1. Begin by slicing skirt steaks in half so that each steak is 5 inches long.
  2. Using a meat mallet, pound each skirt steak until they are at least 3 inches wide.
  3. Combine 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar and 2 tbsp coconut aminos is a mixing bowl. Place steaks in mixture and toss with hands to coat each steak. Cover and marinate for 30 minutes to 2 hours in refrigerator.
  4. In the meantime, slice vegetables into thin strips. We will use approximately 1/3 cup of each vegetable.
  5. Heat a skillet over medium heat with 2 tablespoons olive oil. Add veggies, 1 tablespoon coconut aminos, 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar and garlic. Sauté for 7 minutes, until slightly tender.
  6. Once skirt steaks have marinaded, evenly distribute veggie mixture in the center of each skirt steak using tongs.
  7. Fold each side towards the center and secure with a toothpick.
  8. Heat grill or pan over high heat. Allow surface to become very hot. Season steak with cracked black pepper. Place skirt steaks on pan or grilling surface and cook 3 minutes. Use tongs to carefully turn to other side and cook 3 additional minutes.
  9. Serve hot.
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This weeks totally irrelevant poll…A Christmas Movie

The Polling Place

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Please, Express Yourself….

Welcome to the most prestigious and influential (yeah, right) Paleo Polling Place on the internet!  Each week we will present a deep-thought provoking (oh, Madonna Mia) question that you can respond to in a completely anonymous manner.  It doesn’t cost anything so please feel free to cast your vote.

And this weeks totally irrelevant question is…

***Click here to take away the stress from finding the perfect holiday gift ideas***

 

 

 

Whole Foods Bargains under $10.

10 Whole Foods Bargains Under $10

Before you start joking that it should be called “Whole Paycheck,” let me acknowledge that yes, Whole Foods has the ability to make even the most budget-conscious shopper overspend.

But America’s most famous organic supermarket does have a few affordable gems in its aisles. Here’s a list of 10 things that you can stock up on without breaking the bank.

Opt for freshly grinding your own almond butter on their loud (but kind of fun) machines. It’s almost half the price of a lot of all-natural jarred brands.

Price: $7.99 per pound (peanut butter is only $5.59 per pound)

Price: $1.99

Stock up on big boxes of all the basics: green, chamomile, rooibos, and peppermint.

Price: $3.99

 
Hit up the bulk bins for things like organic pepitas, walnuts, coconut flakes, quinoa, and lentils. You can get the exact amount you need for a recipe (reducing waste) and you aren’t paying for superfluous packaging. Go, you.

Price: quinoa $6.99 per pound

Look out for the LOCAL or SALE (duh) labels on produce — this is where the deals are.

Price: Depends (I got this 3-lb. local red kuri squash for $4!)

Price: $6.59

Green juice isn’t cheap, but the Whole Foods juice bar sells 32 oz. for a reasonable price.

Price: $9.99

 

Good for snacking and entertaining, this hummus is something I always like to have a tub of in the fridge. I’m currently digging this roasted garlic and chive version.

Price: $2.19

I love having spinach in my freezer to quickly up the green content in any given meal. (It’s a lot cheaper than the same weight of fresh spinach, too.)

Frozen edamame and peas are great for adding some hearty plant protein to stir fries, soups, and stews.

Price: $2.99

Price: $2.99

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Heavenly Chocolate (2X) Biscotti

SONY DSCNot all cookies are created equal..and believe me this Italian Double ChocolatePistachio Biscotti is at the top of the list. Trust me when I tell you that when it comes to food we Italians take great pride in our sauce (or is it gravy?), meatballs and biscotti….”you don’t eat my biscotti you insult my family” seems to be inherent within our blood lines.  Hey fratello (brother)/sorella (sister), try them you’ll love them!

Did you ever think that eating Paleo inspired dishes could taste so good?

 

 

Heavenly Biscotti
Heavenly Biscotti,,,double chocolate with pistachios!
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Ingredients
  1. Paleo Double Chocolate Pistachio Biscotti
  2. 1 cup almond flour
  3. 2 tablespoons arrowroot powder
  4. 2 tablespoons cocoa
  5. 3 tablespoons coconut flour
  6. 1/4 teaspoon salt
  7. 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  8. 2 tablespoons honey
  9. 1 egg
  10. 1/4 cup chocolate chips
  11. 1/4 cup shelled unsalted pistachios
Instructions
  1. 1. Preheat your oven to 350°F.
  2. 2. In a medium sized mixing bowl, whisk together almond flour, coconut flour, arrowroot powder, salt, baking soda and cocoa.
  3. 3. In a separate mixing bowl, whisk together the egg and honey. Fold the wet mixture into the dry. Fold in the chocolate chips and pistachios.
  4. 4. Shape the dough into a rectangle (about 1/2 inch tall, 3 inches wide, and 6 inches long) and place on a cookie sheet. Bake for 15 minutes. Remove them from the oven and allow to cool for another 15 minutes. Use a serrated knife to cut the rectangle into strips, 1/2-inch thick, forming the biscotti. Lay each strip back on the cookie sheet cut side up. Reduce oven to 300°F and bake for 20-30 more minutes, until the cookies begin to turn crisp.
  5. 5. Remove from oven, and allow to cool completely.
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Well Butter Me Up!

butter

This is interesting . .. .

Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back.

It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter.
butt

DO YOU KNOW.. The difference between margarine and butter?  

Read on to the end…gets very interesting!

Both have the same amount of calories.  Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams; compared to 5 grams for margarine.

Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.

Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.
Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few and only because they are added!

Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.

Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years .

And now, for Margarine..  margarine-sayno

Very High in Trans fatty acids.

Triples risk of coronary heart disease …

Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)

Increases the risk of cancers up to five times..

Lowers quality of breast milk

Decreases immune response.

Decreases insulin response.

And here’s the most disturbing fact… HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING!can

Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC… and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT.

These facts alone were enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).

Open a tub of margarine and leave it open in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will notice a couple of things:

* no flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something)

* it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value ; nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a find a home to grow.

Why? Because it is nearly plastic . Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?

Share This With Your Friends…..(If you want to butter them up’)!

 

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